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It’s not small news that Jupiter goes retrograde this week, but truly it’s overshadowed by the Pluto story. Going direct in Capricorn for the last time in our lifetime. That part of your chart (the Capricorn part) will soon lose the tenant it’s had for YEARS, nearly two decades. So now what? It’s a question I ask a lot. Time. It keeps on passing. The unconscious has no time (wrote Freud).

I was telling my Patrons this evening that Jupiter in Gemini is so dizzying we might experience the retrograde as a welcome break, relief. We need to go within. We need to slow down. It’s possible, right? You may have frittered and scattered your precious energy and resources all these months. You may have bought and done two of everything and it may have been two too many.

But about Pluto: you’re in the driver’s seat. That’s what I’m feeling. Pluto was driving you all these years, right? But now you’re in the driver’s seat, and honestly I don’t know why this is. I mean, it’s STILL PLUTO. Why would the direct motion and the eventually ascent into Aquarius bestow upon you more power or control than usual. Have we learned our lessons, dear astrology lovers?

There comes a time in every blog post where I say to you: I’ve been doing this a long time and it’s still true! I first started blogging in 2011! I’ve been talking to you a long time and now that I’m writing books and in school I feel quieter than ever and yet… here we are.

Pluto plundered his way through my Fifth House. There was no escape for there is no escape from Pluto, from a Pluto transit. And in Capricorn no less! I have three planets in Cancer. I died over and over. I lost everything. Almost everything. I kept blogging. I remember saying to someone: “I’m a ghost now” once I had returned to the city. It’s funny. I hear in other people that intellectual defense I used to have. A kind of sharp charm tongue which is a mask hiding god knows what. Better to be vulnerable than clever.

So Jupiter goes retrograde and we become less fast and more thoughtful, fewer horizons to climb to and Pluto is building a tower to the sky. What does it all mean? Driver’s seat? A chance to begin again, is what I hear. Pluto FINALLY ending its reign of destruction in Saturn’s sign which culminated with the Saturn Pluto conjunction of 2020. We needed this last retrograde to get clear. Say goodbye, good riddance. Miles and miles of Given Road (Over the Rhine).

You want guidance, right? I got the Knight of Wands for you. Go as fast as you can. Don’t wait. Don’t delay.

*
Two years ago, I was told that I “needed” psychoanalysis, my therapist (not an analyst) said he could no longer treat me. It’s a long story. I wrote about it in some of my school papers and if I remember correctly, I maybe tell part of this story in my new book (always tell your stories!) but the point of bringing this up now is that… two years ago, I went back to school, an old lady, and now a couple years later I know a thing or two about Freud and psychoanalysis and I’m… less sick than I was. I don’t have the skills (he said to me). What YOU NEED is psychoanalysis. He meant: as a patient. I needed to be a psychoanalytic patient. He wasn’t wrong. But I took what he said and decided that I needed to be *more* than a patient. I needed the other side of the couch. I didn’t go back to school thinking I was gonna write about it AT ALL. I was looking to heal and grow and I took a chance on myself.

Is that really true? I wanted to heal and grow and take a chance? Sounds awfully rosy. When in doubt, follow the urge of the LIFE DRIVE no matter how small. The still small voice. That’s the life drive (as Freud wrote about.)

Anyway, it’s a good story. The whole story is a good story. Someday I might tell it all. Until then… Pluto leaving my Fifth House closes the door on this repetition. That’s what healing looks like. Or one way it can look. When you can’t even imagine saying yes to what you used to run towards.

The door is closing. Saying goodbye to Pluto in Capricorn. What do you want to say to this transit? Are you still alive? Intact? Worse for wear? Got most of your teeth? On crutches once again? Can’t stand up for falling down? Drowning in your soup?

I drew one more card. ACE OF WANDS. The Wands have it, my friends. We are fire. God I cannot wait until this book is done and I can get started on the next one. I want to write about a dog but first I need to get a dog.

To be continued.
I’ll be back later.
Keep passing the open windows xo