I’m up before dawn and thinking about relationships, how there are some relationships that rob you.

Here’s just one example, a dramatic example, you have sex with someone and they disappear, discard you.

I’m not talking about an average one-night stand (if there is such a thing) but the kind of situation where you are dating someone, starting to date someone, or friends! You have a connection that is beyond the body.

And you have sex and they disappear. I have clients go thru this over and over. I’ve been through it too – in fact my first sexual experience as an 18 year old was one of these. I was starry eyed and I thought that a man finding me sexually attractive (after losing a lot of weight) meant something. Meant something more. Sex is not a rite of passage in the ways we’d like to think. It doesn’t make you more mature. It doesn’t force wisdom upon you. In fact, I think it forces stupid upon most people.

Some relationships rob you but I think it’s important not to create too many stories around them and instead forgive yourself — you don’t have to forgive them — but forgive you if you can and want to. You likely knew what the outcome would be and that is likely why you were drawn to it: living through a disappointment or trauma again, allowing it to happen, in the hopes to cure or fix it. And, also people suck 🙂

Saturn going retrograde is a major transit but it’s one of a few planets that will be retrograde in April.

I can hear it now:

but MoonPluto, why are you talking about relationships and Saturn? Isn’t that Venus? Or Jupiter in Libra? 

Honey, EVERY planet is a relationship planet, our relationships with other humans, animals, nature, the Holy Spirit, and not least of all, ourselves.

And Saturn rx calls for such a MASSIVE review of where we are at, in my humble opinion.

Are you passing the tests? Do you need tutoring? What have you learned so far? What kind of homework would be best? What are you learning?

I go back and forth with my Florida situation and I’ve got Saturn through my Fourth House. I’m having a house story and a Florida story and a roots and family and memory story and why am I still here alone (on this earth) story. Because you have standards, MoonPluto? Because you don’t suffer fools, MoonPluto? Because you have PTSD, MoonPluto. It all figure in. Connected disconnected. I don’t lead a double life. This is ME. Astrologer, tarot reader, mystic, contemplative, poet. In small town Florida? Even in small town college town Florida in the Internet Age, I am mostly misunderstood. Truth.

Yesterday talking to a client with Aquarius Rising and her telling me she doesn’t feel that she belongs anywhere AND she is a Libra. I’m a Cancer. These are two signs who crave home and belonging and other people despite whatever the blocks are. I have three PERSONAL planets in the 11th House. PERSONAL. Personal Impersonal.

For Saturn retrograde I want you to recall why you’re here. There are always lessons.

And my Florida lessons lately… I’m thinking I need to go within because I would say, after a year here, despite feeling something for the land and the air and the birds, I am about 95% misunderstood by most people I meet. It’s odd. Odder than usual. So I think I will be more careful, more choosy, say less, make friends sparingly, and remember that I’m in a small town and small town thinking has nothing to do with place.

We all get lonely. We all need help. And maybe my Saturn lesson is about my Pluto transit which is refining my personality, peeling it back. So much critique from others which is bullying really. Silencing. I’m not interested in being robbed. Instead I cut people out. Survival.

Saturn goes retrograde tomorrow and there is a lesson. The key is not to let it make you overly cynical or skeptical or sad or hopeless or cut everyone out. And that’s why we have Jupiter and the other planets, so that life isn’t only Saturn. I know it’s hard though, my friends. It is so beautiful on the porch as I write to you.

With the retrograde we get a break. I hope during yours, you can be less hard on yourself.

Let me mention one other thing now – we are under some cardinal planet crazy this week including a Sun Pluto square. Try not to pick at your scabs or anyone else’s. Don’t waste your time with self-loathing. You’ve got better things to do.

Find your tribe. They are out there.

xx