One thing you can do with this Full Moon is release negative emotions. Start NOW.
Moon is in Taurus as I type this.
And what I mean by “release negative emotions” is:
let them come to the surface
let them bubble up, expose themselves, spread themselves all over the floor, feel them, speak the words behind them, think the thoughts, and… I was about to say “let them go” but I’m not convinced that part is necessary or advised. I’m not sure. But I think you should feel the width of them. Feel and understand how much space they take up within you. Notice it. Notice what shape. Are they stripes? Polka dots? Maybe the emotion has a color. And ask how much. How much of you is that shame. Or guilt. Or defilement. Or humiliation. Or self-disgust, self-loathing. YOU ARE WRONG FOR EVEN EXISTING. That feeling. You are wrong for not having money, not having health, not having a partner or children or your own home or a passion or a car or a God. You are wrong for having been hit or raped or for staying in one place, never moving, never going, never never never. You are like that fence over there, barely holding holding it together and that is WRONG. There is something wrong with you.
Those are the “negative emotions” I’m talking about releasing. Release those. And there are more of course. This is just a sample.
My parents died when I was young. Why do I feel ashamed of that and yet I do. As if I had something to do with it. As if I weren’t good enough to keep them. I hate pity but I also hate being forgotten. Being an orphan since before my Saturn Return, there’s a lot I have no clue how to do and yet I help people all around the world. Life is strange that way. I am living who I always was. I was always this.
I’m telling you this story so that you know you are not alone in your grief at existing. That you can come from nothing, you can come from abuse, trauma, you can experience abuse, trauma, and still… feel love. It always shocks me but there it is, popping up like a flower.
My recommendation:
do this work of Full Moon releasing without hope of a cure. Do it for its own sake.
I have a running joke with a gal on my Facebook. I don’t know how it started. She’s in one of my chat rooms and I must have been talking about potatoes and then she started talking about potatoes which turned into potato emoji and french fry emoji and it always makes me smile. French Fry Love is the opposite of guilt and shame and tears.
And another story: I was chatting with an acquaintance who asked me what my passion was, if my work was my passion, and I wasn’t sure, if it was passion or calling and finally I realized it:
FRENCH FRIES ARE MY PASSION. Part joke, part not. I have my Mars in Cancer square Jupiter. If there’s a snack waiting, I’ll be right over. He didn’t really get it though. He said: you can do better than that.
Really? Who are you to put down my passion? And that’s how shame begins. We get it from day one (or two, or three) from the family and on and on it continues until you meet some person as a near 50-year old who tells you french fries aren’t good enough.
But I’m here to tell you FRENCH FRIES ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
That is all.
I wish you a healthy and productive Full Moon xoxo
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