Intense emotions!

That’s what my astrologer said to me when he told me about my natal Moon Pluto conjunction so many years ago. He wasn’t wrong. I’ve lived a very long time without parents. I know a lot about a certain kind of life. (Moon conjunct Pluto = Pluto kills off the family. That’s one way it can play out.)

Flash forward from when I started studying astrology and Pluto was in Sagittarius. It’s now on the verge of entering Aquarius (next year for a few months) and what does it mean if Pluto in Aquarius is going to aspect your Moon? Of course it matters if it’s an “easy” aspect or a “hard” one, and many astrologers consider the conjunction “neutral.” Ha.

Ha. Ha.

If I were to tell you that I needed to see the whole chart before analyzing this situation would it sound like a cop out? Probably. And yet it’s no less true. Of course I need to see the whole chart and I need to assess what *other* transits are going on.

That said, Pluto in hard aspect to your Moon *might be* about your mother, your family, your home, your roots, your country, your memories, your menstrual health. You could get pregnant. You could move. Many times. I’ve seen it happen. But, again, there’s the houses affected and other transiting planets and other natal planets. It could be psychological changes. Moon has to do with emotions and safety and habits. And Pluto likes to stir things up (isn’t that a nice way to put it?).

So I was born with a Moon Pluto conjunction. I won’t live long enough to have the opposition because Pluto moves so slowly. I did have the square with Pluto in Sagittarius. Was that when I started studying astrology? Yes, probably around then because I remember Pluto square Pluto so well.

Here’s something. That I really. hadn’t considered before. Pluto on Moon (in any hard aspect) is a spiritual transit. Why? Because they ALL are. It isn’t just Jupiter and Neptune who get to talk to our faith.

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Now I see. Now I see why earlier today my guides were telling me to stick close to my astrology. I was saying on Twitter (or somewhere — maybe here on the blog!) that I’d been so preoccupied or hyper focused on writing and books and school and I really needed to turn back *here* and my guides were right. I feel it. I feel how right it feels, oddly enough, after so much time. That I’m still here, talking to you, to old clients/students/friends/loved ones and new ones.

The “normal world” is not for me, my friends. But you probably already knew that. I want to continue with school. If I do, it will take a lot out of me and give a lot *to* me and tonight I have mixed feelings about the trade-off. But as I keep saying: nothing is set in stone. Uranus and Mercury and Mars are retrograde. Things will change and then change again.

I had a hard evening and I was trying go to sleep early. I was trying to rest. My downstairs neighbor was loud with the music. I think it stopped a minute ago? But it was going on for a while at a late hour (and I kid you not people are SCREAMING tonight outside on the street) and even with my. noise cancelling headphones I could feel the pounding. I checked my phone and that’s when I read Devon’s comments on my Patreon that she loves my rants (I had ranted on the weekend card video). I got caught in a Mercury retrograde Kafkaesque argument. My brain hurt for hours afterwards. It reminded me of an old relationship. That feeling of not speaking the same language, not even close. And I may have broken something but I’m not sure yet. Not a bone but a relationship. Remember: Mars has been squaring NEPTUNE all this time (since its been in Gemini). Nothing has been clear. Everything has been foggy.

I know *so* much. I’ve learned *so* much IN my life and FROM my life. I like the way school is expanding my brain but… we’ll see. I’ve only got so many years left and if it brings me more joy than pain I’ll stick with it.  I do think these forays into the world of “normal” only make me more *me* so if you like me, you’re in luck. Apparently in normalsville it’s not so “normal” to be so passionate, so excited, so expressive. That’s one thing I’m learning. No wonder I like religious fanatics so much (as long as they don’t judge others who have other beliefs). We are fervent. Or is Pluto in Leo generation dead while still alive? Thinking of some of the people I’ve come into contact with — are either Pluto in Leo or early Pluto in Virgo (I think). But I digress….

I have some decisions to make. We all do. Pluto in Aquarius is gonna push us towards that too. The next part.

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Fear not. I’ll write more about Moon and Pluto and Pluto in Aquarius in the weeks and months and years to come. And just now I thought to myself I should try to get “into” the “state of mind” of Pluto square the Moon by transit and tell you how it feels, and it felt to me like “can’t get comfortable.” That that is Pluto square Moon. No safety, no comfort. Just edges. Corruption. I don’t want to scare you. It might not feel like that for you but it’s how it feels to me as I tune in. It stretches you and contracts you at the same time. No way out. It puts you in a box. I think that’s why I tend to like conjunctions better. The intensity is more obvious and useable. The square can creep all around you before you realize what’s going on and the conjunction has an unmistakable quality. And the opposition? That’s the outside force moving in.

To be continued…
xo