I’m feeling awfully angsty. I’m on a search for authenticity: my own! But it’s a quiet angst.

I had a good walk today. Got some energy out. Had a lovely time this morning with a fire sign friend who was on a mission, a caper, and I got to be part of a spiritual ritual but.. this post is more about work and the search for… ANSWERS.

Venus (symbolizing money, among other things) is retrograde (i.e. not quite herself). She doesn’t know what she wants. She might not know who she is. How to know what to do? Through the ether. The spiritual methods. I’ll have considered my life well lived if all my clients and students consult their cards when faced with the big moments of life. And the small ones too.

Just now, a fluttering out of the corner of my eye. I think a bird is on the ledge out there. I’ll go look.

Crazy. It’s crazy for me to think any of us can really stick to one thing, one idea while Venus is retrograde. We are gonna go back and forth. We don’t know what we value. IT’S THE FLUX. We are fluxing. And it’s annoying. And I am obsessed with this transit and I hope something good comes out of it because I am rolling around in my head all kinds of work related questions.

Just now on YouTube I’m watching this middle aged lady who lives in her car and I think: is that what I’m supposed to do? Stop trying to find an agent, stop my literary dreams, stop trying to write books and instead make a channel documenting my minutia. One might say: do both! But I can’t. I only have so much energy and time and space in my soul and so many questions. VENUS RETROGRADE = QUESTIONS about what we love.

School feels right. Working with my clients feels right. I’m a writer. I’ll never stop. But everything else????

What is opening? What is closing? Full Moon in Aquarius on Tuesday. North Node in Aries.
What are we breaking; what are we building.
How long do we have? When must the decisions be made and the answers found?

Venus retrograde: how we feel right now is NOT forever so if you are questioning everything just know that the blue sky clarity is delayed and those crystal clear times will return.  The stuff that you aren’t sure of? Wait. I just drew the Hanged Man. Surrender to the question and the waiting.

Venus is retrograde in LEO.. Of course we’re concerned with authenticity and being exactly who we are. Authentic self-expression. Nothing else will do.

To be continued… 
xo

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