So I was on a podcast today and it had been a while since I gave an interview. Felt like a lifetime ago — which feels weird because my book is only six months old or so, but nothing is normal at this time, and I was being myself as I tend to do, but recently a friend gave me the sage wisdom *not* to tone myself down, and it made me wonder if I ever do and maybe I do (I probably do at times) and I made a joke during the interview about my love/hate relationship with my therapist but I can’t remember the context now.

I’m a little behind with Patreon. Will catch up this weekend. Making progress on writing and listening to a lot of music and walking in the cold cold cold.

Everything feels different now. Jupiter in Pisces is a blessing. Venus is retrograde doing her thing, making us, well, what is she making us? She is making us do/feel/know SOMETHING (many things) as she sits with controlling Pluto ah Pluto. I know Pluto. He is prominent in my chart (First House Moon Pluto conjunction well aspected all around my chart) and I’ve survived Pluto opposing my Sun and Mercury and Mars and when Pluto opposed my Sun, Uranus was squaring my Sun. Same time. Somehow I’m still alive — and yes someone did literally try to kill me once upon a time during this transit, put me in a headlock, I couldn’t breathe, could’ve died, but I didn’t. Here I am, motherfucker. You stay safe in these coronavirus times.

Anyway.

Lessons we are learning now, needing now, are not just Venus lessons but Pluto lessons. Pluto is controlling and where Pluto is in your chart is what/who you want to control.

Regarding therapy (and here’s the point of the blog post): the goal, so my therapist can really HELP me, is to LET HIM help me. Allow. Receive. Let him. Let him in. It’s not to coerce him or manipulate him. The man is already doing his job. My job is to let him in there. To open. It’s like sex. Intimaceeeeeeeeeeeee. See? It’s not about controlling him or changing him or trying to get a gift from him or get him to do something. He’s already doing! My job is to open up. Lock and key. That’s how I see it. And the more I resist, the more my resistance is not in my awareness, the harder it is. Who knew that prying oneself open from head to foot and letting all be seen was so hard. It’s hard. But would you have it any other way? Maybe. Maybe not. IF you are a Pluto person, then you know you need this.

Venus isn’t only your lover. It’s ALL the people stuff. And Venus really is what you value so what do you value? What do you want? What means the world to you? What means everything everything everything?

I am a firm believer that we may not get what we want, or what we need, in this lifetime. So what does that leave you? Exactly. Who the fuck knows. But make the time count. That’s my advice. This is different than getting what you wanted or needed (or thought you wanted or needed). Immerse yourself in a process. Venus conjunct Pluto with Venus retrograde would love this. Make your time HERE count. Invest in what you have. And you may discover it actually was what you needed (and wanted). After all.

Personal example:

Gee, I would love a lover these days. Be buried in that Y-shaped coffin (joke stolen from Joe Orton). But instead, I’m getting penetrative insight from a psychologist and I value that tremendously. Is it the same as fucking? No. And yes. It actually is. Except it’s not. Penetration: the action or process of making a way through or into something.

Every astrological house has dozens of associations/meanings, and if you’re having Eighth House transits then psychoanalysis OR sex OR magic OR a few other things (dying and coming back to life) could make you very very happy indeed.

Okay, that’s all for now.
xo